Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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