My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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