I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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