Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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