ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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