he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
