Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
