dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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