If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
