hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize