i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
