your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize