More tranny stories later!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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