I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
