this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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