Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
