shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
