Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
