This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
