Ambien. No doubt about it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
