It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
