We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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