im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
