Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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