allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
