Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
