I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Come on in and take your pants off
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