She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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