What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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