Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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