You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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