8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just gift wrapped bread.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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