just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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