P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
