I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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