yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
