oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My balls are so social today.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She needs sedatives and a leash
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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