My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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