I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
