history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
