So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
