I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
