Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
