Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
