if you like me you must not know who I am
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
