My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
