That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
