He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
