Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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