I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
