where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
