I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
