Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
