then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize