I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
