Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
