My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
