I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
