Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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