HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
