i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
