how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
