I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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