Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
