Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
