When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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