dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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