we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
