Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
