So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
