So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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