I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
