Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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