Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
