i think i have herpe
just one?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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