seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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