non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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