please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
