well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
