I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Im part way to drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize