Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The air taste purple.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
