His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
