Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
